Shoe Money Tonight

Occasional ramblings by an anesthesiologist/mother (and sometimes her husband).

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

How to ruin the birth of your child

How to nearly get arrested on the day your first child is born, instructions provided by Some Dude.

1. Be rude, nasty, and mean to the labor nurses.
2. When they tell you your wife needs a c-section, insist on being in the room.
3. When anesthesia tells you that you can't because she will be getting a general anesthetic and hospital policy forbids it - declare loudly (with swearing) that you are the Health Care Proxy and that she can't stop you.
4. In response to being told that if you attempt to enter the OR, Security will be called to escort you out, refer to them as Flashlight Cops and say that you can take them.
5. Continue to yell at the staff so loudly that you can be heard three rooms away with all the doors shut.
6. When your family is taking you out of the room and into the hallway continue to swear and yell.
7. When you see security, immediately start yelling about how you can take them, they're thirty years older than you and swear at them, before they even say a word to you.
8. Threaten to punch on of the OB/Gyn residents.
9. Continue to curse and threaten Security as they escort you off hospital property.
10. Be informed that you might be let back tomorrow to visit you wife and new son, but will be arrested if you come back tonight.
11. Loiter just off hospital property and call the local news stations to report about the horrible treatment you recieved.
12. Swear at the local police officers.

Then thank God they decided not to arrest you.

For more about Some Dude or sumdood see here .

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2 Comments:

Blogger MonkeyGirl said...

Jeez. And we wonder why kids are jerks these days. Look at their parents.

11:51 AM  
Blogger The Platypus said...

Congratulations to Sumdood.

Can you post a link so we can send money to the little guy's future bail money fund?

10:15 AM  

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